Thursday, March 25, 2010

Medicine can taste a little bitter...

If you aren't a medical student, a physician,  a friend or relative of a doctor, or sleeping with someone who is, the whole becoming a doctor process can a little bewildering.   The conversation I have with an uninitiated usually goes a little something like this:

“So you’re in medical school.  What are you going to be, a nurse?”

“No.  I’m going to medical school.  To be a doctor.  Of medicine.”

“Oh, that’s great.  How long does that take?”

“Eight years, usually.  Four years of undergraduate, and then four years of medical school.”

“Then you start practicing?  Eight years isn’t too bad.”

"No, but almost.  After medical school we go to residency – it’s like an apprenticeship.”

“Oh.  How long is that?”

“Three years for some specialties, up to six years for others.”

“Oh.  Then you start practicing?”

“Some people do.  Some others go onto special training called fellowships.  That’s how you become a heart doctor, a lung doctor, a heart surgeon…”

"So you get to pick where you do this residency then?  Where are you going?"

"You don't get to pick a place.  You pick the specialty you want to go into.  Then you spend a whole lot of money applying to programs across the United States.  Then you wait for some of them to give you interviews."

"That's great!  They fly you all over the U.S. to interview ~ how fun!"

"Well, not exactly.  You have to pay to fly there.  And for your hotel.  And for your rental car or taxi. A lot of people have to take out more student loans to pay for it."

"Huh.  Do you get to pick where to go then?"

"No, then you make a list of all the programs you interviewed at in order of how much you liked them.  And all the programs make a list of the people they interviewed in order of how much they liked them.  Then the lists go into a magic computer, and they match you with a program."

"So you find out right away?"

"Not exactly.  The lists go into the computer in February, and we find out in March."

"But everyone goes somewhere, right?"

"No, some people don't get matched and don't go anywhere."

"So let me get this straight.  You go to eight years of school.  You pay a lot of money to apply to residency.  You have to take out loans to go to places to interview.  You make a list and then wait a month to find out IF you have a job, and you don't get to pick where you will be moving for the next three to six years. Sheesh.  At least you'll be making a lot of money during residency."

"Around 40,000 a year for 80 hour weeks and three weeks of vacation.  It averages out to a little more than $10 an hour before taxes.  Plus we have to start paying back our school loans."

"Remind me not to let my kids be doctors."

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