Happy Hours

We went to a will-not-be-named chain restaurant this past week because I refuse to turn on the air conditioning. I just don't think eighty is hot enough. The people up here can live with thirty degrees below zero, but if the mercury rises a few marks above seventy they think they will suffocate. I miss the South.

Anyway, this place makes the best Southwest eggrolls besides mine. It was still early evening, so we thought we might make happy hour. We shouldn't have been concerned, as this chain advertises that they have "Happy Hour All Day Every Day! 2 for 1 Drinks!"

DH is a marketing guy at heart, so he took exception to the fraud they were perpetrating upon hapless consumers. Our waitress bounced up.

"If happy hour is all day every day, isn't that just the regular price?"

She looked puzzled. "No, it's happy hour."

"But if the price is, say, five dollars for one ten ounce drink, and you have two for one drinks every day all day, isn't that just the regular price? Five dollars for twenty ounces?"

Her smile didn't dim. "No. It's happy hour. The second drink is free."

DH looked at me beseechingly. I was not going to help. He got himself into the argument with the bubble head, he could get himself out.

"Okay, but it's not a sale. See the food prices are the same every day all day, but they aren't a happy hour special. It's just the regular price. Because it's every day."

Waitress looked at me beseechingly, then tried again. "The drinks are the happy hour. Two for one." She smiled tightly. "Do you need a minute?"

I spoke. "Coke and eggrolls please. He's being difficult. You're being dense. This happy hour stinks. And I'm too hungry to listen to you two."

DH ordered. "Was I being difficult?"

"No, love. She was just definitely not over qualified for her job."

It's like I tell the grandkids (future me) - don't argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell who is who.