Mr. Banker Man

I appreciate the fact that lending practices have become much more strict since the huge housing/crazy mortgage crisis we went through the last couple of years.  I agree that people should be held to higher standards and should only buy houses that they can afford. That being said...

I am still frustrated as bear with his nose stuck in a beehive that it is apparently darn near impossible to get a traditional mortgage after graduating from medical school.  Now, I know very well that I have a huge amount of student loan debt.  It's part and parcel of going to medical school and then getting a master's degree after that.  Oddly enough, those things cost money.  Money that I will be paying back.  Over the next thirty years.  So Mr. Banker Man, yes, I do already have a monthly payment on my brain that is just slightly lower than my proposed mortgage payment.

Also, Mr. Banker Man, we decided to be very conservative in the size of house that we would buy.  So yes, we carefully budgeted and applied for the loan only on my tiny little resident salary. We figured if we could get by on my salary for monthly expenses, Mr. Banker Man, that we could use DH's salary to do other things.  Like pay off those rascally student loans. Or plan for retirement. Or get haircuts.

I understand that these may be foreign concepts to you Mr. Banker Man. I understand that no matter how many times I offer, you won't let me use my brain as collateral.   I understand that you see things in black and white now, not all those delightful shades of grey that allowed you to hand out sub-prime mortgages for the past few years like the money would revolt and perform a military coup if it stayed in your bank too long.  I know that if I had walked into your bank two years ago, you would have been throwing dollar bills at me and I wouldn't even have to take off my clothes.  It's not that era anymore.

It's a shame.

I think we could have been friends.

What's in a PIN?

I don't know my PIN number.

This has had very little effect on my life because I hate carrying cash. The germ load on money skeeves me out a bit. I haven't used my debit card in months. DH needed me to bring him some cash a few days ago. Not a problem.

Except I don't know my PIN number.

I knew how to solve this. I would have my bank change my PIN over the phone. 'Why not just pop into a nearby branch and do it in person?' you might be wondering.

Because I am stubborn. I memorized my account number eight years ago (which by the way, is way longer than a PIN). I refuse to learn a new account number. Thus, I refuse to change banks. This is despite the fact the closest branch of my bank is two states away.

So I pull out my phone, google the bank, and am quickly connected with Tim. He suggests I come into a branch. I tell him I don't have time for a 400 mile road trip.

"Okay," says Tim," we just have to ask some security questions, then I can ask my manager for approval, then I can call you back in a couple hours."

This is not helpful for my 'need cash now' problem, but I reason I should probably know my PIN in general, so I agree.

"Mother's maiden name. Grandfather's name. Last four of your social. Birthday. Account number. Favorite cartoon character. Number of siblings. "

Easiest quiz I've ever taken.

"Great, just two more. At what branch did you open this account?"

"When I was 16? That's over ten years ago. It was one of three." I named all three.

"So we can't accept that as a correct answer." He paused. "Moving on, what was the last thing you used your debit card for?"

"Oh, I paid my X credit card bill from that account yesterday."

"That wasn't a debit transaction. You did do that, but it doesn't count. What was the last debit transaction?"

"Do you mean something I had to use my PIN for?"

"Yes."

"You do realize we're doing this because I don't know my PIN. The one you guys reset last spring when my card was stolen in Spain and you sent me this new card. Which I have never used as a debit card...... because I don't know the PIN. "

"Yes. "

He didn't reset the PIN for me. Seems I failed the security check. Yet people used my old card with no trouble in Spain. Thieves apparently know more about me than me.

Maybe they can tell me my PIN.